This is my personal voice…which now concurrently serves as my mission statement. Contained in these pages will be stories, memories, wishes, (and slices of hope) regarding the greatest love affair I have ever had. Accompanying those entries will be my ongoing -uncensored – unapologetic thoughts, opinions, rants, raves, and truths about the experience of losing the most important thing a mother could lose; my child.
I don’t know much about much; I am sure about even less. But I am 112% positive of a few things. First being that NO parent should have to outlive their child. Period. I learned the hard way that childhood cancer does not discriminate. It is the NUMBER ONE cause of death among children in the world. It claims the lives of more children every single year than any other disease – asthma, AIDS, muscular dystrophy, and multiple sclerosis – COMBINED. Further, I am certain that someone, somewhere, can and will find the cure for childhood cancer. Moreover, it is with utmost certainty that I will not stop until that person steps up: a cure is found: the day comes when cancer is erridicated from the lives’ of children. I will persist in this fight until cancer is gets cancer and dies.
In the meantime, I intend to help other terrified moms and dads find their “inner-warrior” and acquire the strength, the knowledge, the support to stand up for and protect their child – who is in the trenches of the most frightening battle in this world. I want every parent currently entering, sitting, existing, trembling, ambling through or ‘living’ in a “H.O.T” unit, to know their precious child is not another number, not another statistic. They deserve to know they matter and they are in the best hands possible – in every aspect of this horrific fight. All children fighting cancer deserve better. They deserve the best. They deserve a voice. They deserve to stop being treated like lab rats.
Paxton is the fuel behind my fire. My sweet, brave, perfect, Peaceful Warrior is the reason I will continue to fight this fight. In losing Paxton, we have lost our only child, our miracle baby, our beloved, perfect, beautiful son; we have lost our future. It is simply unacceptable that we are no longer able to be together. I made Paxton a promise I intend to keep. I promised him I would continue his fight until people start to listen, survival rates begin to improve, treatments become more humane, and one day, the story of children being stolen from their parents’ arms by this asshole of all assholes are akin to modern day recollection of smallpox, polio, measles.
You can play an active role in this fight. It will be no easy feat. It is going to take an army of love.